today is the first day of the rest of your life...

Mood: concerned
Listening to: "fuck me for free" - recover
Reading: scar tissue- anthony kiedis

well politi got busted by his mom. now he is in pergatory. he hasnt been to school for about a week or so and im beginning to worry that his withdrawal is taking a greater toll on him than i expected. normally he comes to school no matter what. im the one who misses 25 plus days a year. he MAYBE misses 2 days at most. something must seriously be wrong with him. however, he has been more introspective lately which translates into him actually having a thought process. it is like having the old matt back circa 8th grade. i missed that type of matt; not the pompous asshole he became last year. i hope he feels better but stays the way he was then.

...except for the day you die.

today is the first day of the rest of your life...

Mood: frustrated
Listening to: "dying in your arms tonight" - chicago
Reading: scar tissue- anthony kiedis

in news of how im lagging in school it goes as follows...
chemistry- 2 tests, 2 quizes
algebra 2/trig- 2 tests
history- 2 tests, 3 quizes
stressful yes! but that's not really important. what is on my mind is politi.
we have a tragic relationship. we got back together under "open" terms in late october. i havent hung out with him in 2 weeks or so which is annoying. some may say im being clingy but thats just my jealousy kicking in.
he went to einloth's party on saturday. going to parties isnt what bothers me it is when HE goes to a party and TELLS ME how he got NUMBERS. like dude, WTF is wrong with you?! obviously i am jealous but you are too retarded to notice.
besides my anger and jealousy im going through internet withdrawal. i miss the ranks of facetheyjury.com so dearly. i had so many inappropriate relationships ...they were so magical. it really helped me revel in a world of fantasy. fantasy is a great thing. that is why i like pictures so much and that is why i value my handycam with a passion. pictures are a way for me to chronologically remember the way i was or looked better yet. i have a fixation for looking at myself. does that make me egotistical? perhaps but oh well.
im going to be 16 in a month. my parents still feel the need to make sure my likeness isnt found on the internet. that triggered my withdrawal. showing my picture gets comments which produces positive praise which raises my ego and leaves a reason to not need danna for therapy. however, that is the jackass way to justify. with parents, there is no compromise. until then i must cope until i am of legal age or married.

...except for the day you die.